Snow Globes (Linus Part II)

Good news!
Everything I'm reading in this book about Linus I've found I've already intuitively been incorporating into Linus' routines every day here and there, and now all I need to do is solidify my plan to do it all the time and stick to it to see if it works. The other good news is that I'm fairly sure the progress he has made is because of the things I've already been doing. I'm excited and happy and love my little boy all the more for it.
The best way to describe him is like this: most kids are looking through the world through different lenses and things get more clear and in focus as they get older- they understand things, they no longer need that lens and move on to something new. Linus is not looking through a lens, but a snow globe.  He looks through it all day and when he's able to decipher what it is he wants while looking through it, he understands things and he cooperates and he's not a problem. Occasionally, though, he can't figure it out and so he moves the snow globe around (representing getting frustrated) thinking it will help, and a snow globe is all he's got so it's all he knows how to see through. Well suddenly the little flecks of snow in the water get jostled and it's harder to see. So he shakes it more and it erupts into a giant flurry and suddenly whatever he was looking at through the glass is completely smothered and he keeps shaking it and shaking it because he wants to see what everyone else is seeing on the other side. Eventually he stops and things calm down and he realizes that he shouldn't have shaken it and that it's a lot easier to see without all the snow (frustration and inflexibility) floating around. Then something new happens and everyone else picks up their lens to decipher it and he picks up his snow globe again. And the process repeats itself. So now MY job is to help him hold the snow globe so he can see what he wants on the other side for him. I hold it, he looks through it, we work together. Someday, he will put the snow globe down and pick something else up, but for right now, he needs to be walked through it.
Right now, what both Craig and I need to full acknowledge and accept is that what works for most kids will not work for him. Being firm and giving consequences when Chloe does something we don't want her to do works for her, she stops the undesirable behavior and she is able to cope with it. For right now, really evaluating what things he needs to change and what things are too picky is essential. For example:
Chloe: Mom, can I sit in your chair this morning for breakfast?
Me: Not today, Chloe, it's easier for me if you sit over there for right now so you can finish breakfast quickly and we can get to school on time, okay?
Chloe: But MOM!! I really don't want to sit in my seat today, I want to sit in YOURS!
Me: Chloe, if you can't listen to Mommy, I will have to send you up to your room and then you'll have even less time to eat, is that what you want?
Chloe: No
Me: Then please do as Mommy asks and sit in your own chair.
Chloe: Okay

:::

Linus: Mom, can I sit in your chair this morning for breakfast?
Me: (evaluating the inconvenience of a slower breakfast eating against the possibility of a giant fit- I then ask myself which will take more time, a slow breakfast or calming down a volcanic eruption of a fit: slow breakfast wins) I think so, Linus, but I have a concern.
Linus: What?
Me: We need to get out the door quickly and I'm worried that if you sit in Mommy's chair, you will be distracted by your sister and the things on the counter behind you. How do you think we can solve this problem?
Linus:....I don't know.
Me: I have some ideas, can I share them with you?
Linus: Yep
Me: How about you can sit in Mommy's chair and I will set a timer. If you're not done with breakfast by the time the timer goes off, you move back to your chair so you can finish.
Linus: Okay

Fit avoided. In order for him to learn flexibility, I have to model it. The more I work through things with him and take the time and effort to do it, the more he'll realize that a snow globe is probably not the easiest way to see the world and he'll let go of it. Eventually. It's a life changing sort of thing.
But I'm accepting it right now. If it backfires on me and doesn't work, we'll try something else. But point being I think he'll be okay in the end. And if I have to learn a bunch more patience for that to happen, I suppose that will be okay. :-)