Up and Up

Thank you for all of you who have asked after dear little Chloe, she is doing much better. Not every day is perfect, for instance, yesterday Chloe came home and her cheeks had dried dirty tear streaks down the sides ever so noticeable probably only to her mother, but not because she was sad. She shakily told me that during P.E. that day she had run into another boy when she wasn't looking and hit her front teeth really hard. She bared her front ones at me and her left one was dark and bloody at the root and was jutting down a quarter inch lower than it was when she left the house that morning. It's a baby tooth, and was already starting to get a little loose, but we are going to the dentist today just to make sure she didn't do any further damage. Most days, however, she leaves the house with no tears and a big hug and a kiss and comes home a starving jabbermouth and generally seems to be enjoying school more than she was.

 

Last week we were able to go visit Craig's sister and brother in law and girlies in Buckeye, who graciously watched our kids for us on Friday evening so Craig and I could go to the Mesa temple for a much needed visit. Firstly we haven't been for ages, and secondly, we were able to take my grandfather's name finally through to finish his temple work (almost). AMAZING. I wish I would have taken a picture of Craig and I by the temple, it is gorgeous, and the sunset when we walked out made it just stunning. It was a really refreshing experience that both Craig and I were glad to be a part of. We spent the weekend hanging out with the kiddos, catching up, and watching movies. :-) Glad we have some family nearby to hang out with. 

Linus is getting smarter I'm pretty sure exponentially by the minute. I was nervous about going to his parent/teacher conference a couple of weeks ago, just because I was so worried about him succeeding behaviorally. I neglected to really focus on the benefits of how he'd do academically. Let me preface this by saying that when I did at home pre-school with Chloe, I was pretty diligent with her helping her learn all her letters and sounds, capitals and lower case, some sight words as much as we thought she could, and she still had to relearn a lot of it when she started Kindergarten. Linus I was less diligent, mostly because I was so busy last year, between photography, seminary, daycare, soccer, blah blah, I just didn't sit down with him one on one as often as I should have. We went over a few more things before school started, but in the short time since then he's mastered about 60% of what he needs to know before he goes to 1st grade and he's well on his way to learning the rest. I asked his teacher how he's been doing with his frustration control in class and she laughed and said he's had a  couple of outbursts. She then explained a couple of occasions when someone didn't understand the instructions and apparently he's exasperatedly exclaimed such things like, "She JUST told us that!" and usually is on top of his group making sure they are doing what they are supposed to be. What a kook. Although we are working on him helping people with kindness instead of frustration. 

Odell is getting bored I think judging on the amount of things she's been getting into that she knows she's not supposed to. She talks. All. The. Time. Mostly it's comforting to me to have conversations with her and answer all her nonsense questions and giggle with her when she finds something funny so it's not so quiet around here. She LOVES watching Tinkerbell when I let her. She gets out all her princess castles and then grabs Linus' batman doll and jumps from castle top to castle top with him. She loves any kind of sandwich with peanut butter on it. Thankfully she still loves to cuddle with me in the mornings, and sometimes I need that more than I think I do. 

Keeping up with life. As much as we can. :-)

The Leibster Award

 

Hey! I got nominated for an award! :-) Actually I thought this was really fun, and thanks to my old pal Kristen for nominating me. Kristen and I knew each other in college. Once we went on a camping trip with our church and it snowed and we were so desperate for warmth we snuck out of our tent into a van and talked and laughed all night. It was a good time. :-) 

The rules for the Liebster award are as follows:

1) Thank the Liebster Blog presenter who nominated you and link back to their blog.
2) Post 11 facts about yourself, answering the 11 questions you were asked and create 11 questions for your nominees.
3) Nominate 11 blogs who you feel deserve to be noticed and leave a comment on their blog letting them know they have been chosen.
4) Display the Liebster Award logo.
5) No tag backs meaning you can’t just re nominate the person who nominated you.

And now I'm going to answer some fun questions Kristen came up with. :-)

1.) What is something quirky about you?

Um, well I have double jointed fingers, which means I can bend the top joints of my fingers without any help. This is also while my viola playing career was short lived- sometimes my fingers got stuck that way while playing and that wasn't so fun.
2.) Where is your favorite place to shop?

TARGET. I know, not very creative, but I'd say my number two spot would be thrift stores.
3.) Where would your ideal place to live be?

Kauai. I'm pretty sure that's where heaven is going to be when the world ends...
4.) What is a pet peeve of yours?

When I suddenly realize early in the day that I'm wearing an outfit that is either too uncomfortable or doesn't look as good as I thought it would when I put it on and it's too late to do anything about it.
5.) What's the first thing you want to do during the kids nap time or just when you have time to yourself?
Eat, ha ha. There is something to be said about enjoying a meal when it is quiet, I always save my lunches for when I can eat them in peace.
6.) What junk food makes you the happiest?
This is awful, but I'm gonna be honest and say a Diet Dr. Pepper. I don't buy them that often, but when I do, they are typically consumed, in peace, in the time period of the a fore mentioned question.
7.) If you could choose any career (besides motherhood) what would it be?
Ha ha, that's a hard one...I enjoy a lot of things I could put into a professional career, the question would be which one would bring me the most instant success. :-) Writer, photographer, artist, blogger, go back to teaching, any of those would be great. Thankfully motherhood typically incorporates a lot of these, just without the pay. :-)
8.) Who inspires you?

Stephanie Nielson, Ree Drummond, my Uncle Tim, and President Monson. And a lot of other people, but these are the ones I can think of off the top of my head...

 9.) What's your favorite movie?

All time favorite? Ooof...I'm not sure it's possible to pick one: any Jane Austen movie, Penelope, Jane Eyre, Tim Burton films (don't judge), Superhero movies, Oh Brother Where Art Thou, Pixar movies, and...honestly....I sort of like....the Tinkerbell movies...cough cough...

 10.) What are you best at? 

Taking pictures of kids. :-)
11.) Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Done having kids, being a personal chauffeur to my teenagers, working on my incredibly successful photography business in our ginormous house...on Kauai, of course, and being completely content with life. Something like that. 

Alright, here are my questions for my tageroos:

1) Who is your biggest celebrity crush?

2) What is one thing you SWEAR your kids will NEVER do?

3) Name one thing on your Pinterest list or bucket list or otherwise list that you haven't done yet that you really want to?

4) What is one thing you did as a kid that you never fessed up to your parents about?

5) What movie scared the poop out of you when you were a kid/teenager? 

6) Where do you find your biggest inspiration/daily motivation?

7) Who was your first kiss?

8) Really embarrassing moment while doing your job?

9) How do you record your family/ personal memories?

10) Best vacation you've ever had?

11) Favorite books?

And here are my tags! Thanks for playing along (don't worry if you don't have 11, just do as many as you can) :-)

http://angieshaler.blogspot.com/

http://davidandkirabowen.blogspot.com/

http://dontpanicmom.com/

http://gieseysgoberserk.blogspot.com/

http://brazellbunch.blogspot.com/

With a heavy heart

 

Dear Chloe,

This is one of my most favorite pictures of you. You look so happy and serene and at one with yourself. It makes me sad right now because I know right now that's not how you feel. I wish with all of my heart that I could take that away from you, that I could just sit you on my lap and hold your head to my chest and squeeze you until you felt my love warm you down to your bones and you'd never suffer again because of that love. I wish I could make everything magical and comfortable and wonderfully brilliant and colorful for you all the time. I wish I could put an iron case around your heart so no one could ever hurt you and that beautifully sensitive and careful spirit would never be damaged ever again. But I also know that I can't do this for you and it kills me. 

Tonight you came up to me, wringing your shirt in your fingers and tears were welling up in your eyes. You said, "Mom, can I talk to you for a second?" and I said yes, and you said, "Can I tell you something? There is something that's been bothering me at school, and that's why I don't want to go." I took your wringing hands into mine and looked you in the eyes and said, "Tell me what's up."

As the tears spilled over your cheeks, it was all I could do to keep myself from doing the same. I felt your hurt in the very center of my heart, because I knew exactly how it felt. I saw myself in you so clearly it stung like a knife.  Everything I promised myself you would never feel you were feeling right then, at least to a certain extent. You were lost. You felt alone. You felt hurt by others' actions. You missed home. You missed me at school. You missed Daddy at school. You missed Grandma, whose absence in your almost daily life I can only imagine would be so hard for a little girl who has such a great friendship with her. You missed your friends back home. You miss your teacher and your school. In our hurry to move to the next phase of our lives, I assumed the transition would not affect you as much as it has and I am sorry for that. I remember well how it feels to bottle things up and let them eat at you because you don't want anyone to know that you hurt. I should have been aware of that today as I saw you melt down over so many things, I should have taken care at my words when I told you not to be so sensitive. I was dead wrong. I'm so sorry. But I am glad you let it out, and you allowed yourself to hurt to me. You can ALWAYS cry to me, my arms will always be open to hold you forever.

As you sat in my arms and cried so bitterly, I also saw something so beautiful in you. For probably the first time in your life, and certainly not the last, you were starting to be polished a little bit. As much as I want to protect you from all pain so I will never see that bright and wonderful smile ever be tarnished again, I could never rob you of those experiences. It is that polishing that is going to make you shine so bright, so much brighter than you do now. I hate that it is starting already, I know I'm not ready for it either, but I also know that given everything, I would not take away the polishing I've had in my life either. It is what helped me turn to God, and if that's what this is preparing you for, it will be oh so worth it. This life is hard, and it gets so much harder, but we are not alone, and neither are you. You are never ever alone.

 

You have such a beautiful and wise spirit. I know you ache for home. I do too. We will do our best to make home wherever we are together, and as we strive to do this together, even when we are apart or away, we will be blessed with that spirit of togetherness. Our hearts will always be knit together as one when we knit them with our Heavenly Home as well. 

 I love you so much. You will be okay, and thank you for being my daughter. I wouldn't trade you for anything.