But so so SO worth it.
Isn't it amazing when you look back at your life before you were a parent to where you are now? I have a reoccurring dream, as I'm sure many do, where I'm still in high school and haven't graduated yet. My friends are all there. And in every dream I'm getting ready for choir auditions and I always make it into the choir room and remember all the familiar smells and chairs and music and teachers before I wake up.
For the next couple of minutes, especially after a particularly realistic dream, lying there in bed, my thoughts go something like this:
Hey wait a second...didn't I already graduate?
Oh yeah I did. Oh good, I'm so glad I'm done with high school, I'm free! Wait...I went to college too, I GRADUATED from college. And there's some reason nagging at me why I didn't think flirting with my crush in the choir room was a good idea...oh yeah, I'm married. WAIT I'M MARRIED. AND I HAVE KIDS. Three of them?!?!
Yes, three of them. I love them. I love my husband. I love my house and my life.
And just a second ago I was wigging out because I was late to class and couldn't remember my locker combination...
It sort of crashes on me real quick, and then I thank my lucky stars that I'm not in high school anymore. I'm a wife and a mother and I love it.
I've made some big changes with myself as a mother. Most of them internal. I hope they stick, because tonight I was watching Linus frolic around Grandma's house happily and not screaming, and I was watching my two girls dancing in their new Easter dresses, and squished close to Craig on the couch while talking with family, and I was happy. Might seem perfect, and it is, but it sure as heck didn't come without a price. And I'm not even close to being done paying for it, but it's beautiful and it's mine.
I love these guys SO much. I wouldn't give them up for ANYTHING, and that, in turn, makes me want to change to be a better person.
Happy Easter everyone!!
